Our firewood (hardwood) is sourced from the dense forests of the Himalayan Mountains using "climate activist approved" harvesting practises. It is brought out of the forests by local tree-harvesting contractors using over-sized teams of young, healthy mules so none of them are over-worked. They are fed 4 times per day, and watered 8 times per day using only locally-sourced, highly-filtered water.

It is then cut into exact 16" lengths using a solar-powered "measuring & cutting" machine, and then split into perfectly equal sizes by water-powered mill.

Next is the drying process where each piece is layed out on the dry flatlands just below the mountain range where it is dried for a period of 271 days by the hot sun and the down-breezes off the afore-mentioned mountain range.

Finally, it is transported by mule-trains (again, over-sized teams so none of them are over-worked) to the coast where it is loaded onto solar-powered container ships and brought into Luneburg where we pick it up and deliver it (by electric trucks) to our highly valued, sustainable resource burning clients.

We guarantee EXTRA-LARGE cords of carefully-sourced, organic-certified, bark-off hardwood - with less than 5% humidity!

NOTE: Most of the above is purely for your entertainment! However, we do provide "full cords", "accurately cut" and "very dry".